Dear Door-to-door Salesmen

I have been HORRIBLE at keeping up with posting letters lately. My goal is to do TONS better. I've written plenty of letters; I just haven't posted them yet. But May (crazy, busy May) has come to an end and a new month is upon us. And with that comes my renewed determination to be a better blogger. And to start off my renewed sense of desire to have a awesome blog, I have a letter to share. It is not a letter that I have actually sent to anyone. It's one of those hypothetical letters meant to be fun and silly. So, after much waiting for a new post, here is a letter to Door-to-door Salesmen.

Dear Door-to-door Salesmen,

*I am happy with my internet/phone/satellite provider and have no desire to change it.

*I do not have any problems with pests.

*Our windows are new and energy efficient.

*We don't want your overpriced siding for our home.

*We are satisfied with our insurance company.

*We do not want your security system.

*If you are selling something that requires financing or a monthly bill, you are wasting your time coming to our house.

*Proselyters, we don't want to entertain guests - you can leave a flyer if you desire.

*We LOVE pizza delivery and school fundraisers.

*Oh and I'm pretty sure that my husband/brother is in the exact same line of work as you and he can get me a much better deal than you can anyway.

*If anything changes, I'LL contact YOU.